Polyvagal Therapy

The mind narrates what the nervous system knows -Deb Dana

The autonomic nervous system is at the core of our existence. It shapes how we live, love, and work. It is central to our human experience, directing our movements through life, helping us navigate daily challenges, ensuring our survival in perilous moments, and our flourishing in safe times.

Polyvagal Theory, formulated by the esteemed scientist Stephen Porges, illuminates the intricate workings of the autonomic nervous system and offers a framework for collaborating with it to traverse unfamiliar landscapes. This theory rests on three key principles — neuroception, hierarchy, and co-regulation — which underpin our understanding of how the nervous system functions.

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Polyvagal Theory and Therapy in Trauma and Relationship Work

At Making Space Psychotherapy, our trauma therapists understand that healing isn’t just about talking through what happened; it’s also about understanding how your nervous system has learned to survive. One of the frameworks that deeply informs our trauma therapy and relationship therapy work is Polyvagal Theory. This science-backed approach helps us understand our body’s stress responses and how they impact our emotions, relationships and ability to feel safe.

Whether you're seeking trauma therapy in Hamilton or Burlington, looking for support through couples therapy, or searching for women's therapy, men's therapy or counselling, Polyvagal-informed work can offer powerful insights and tools for healing.

What Is Polyvagal Theory?

Polyvagal Theory helps explain how our autonomic nervous system (the part of our nervous system that operates automatically) responds to perceived danger, stress, or connection. It’s not just “fight or flight", there are more nuanced states our body cycles through depending on how safe or threatened we feel.

According to Polyvagal Theory, we all move between three main states:

• Ventral vagal (safe and social) – This is the state where we feel calm, connected, and able to engage with others.

• Sympathetic (fight or flight) – When we sense danger, our body gets activated and ready to respond. This can feel like anxiety, panic, anger, or restlessness.

• Dorsal vagal (shutdown or freeze) – If we feel overwhelmed or helpless, our system may shut down. This can look like numbness, dissociation, withdrawal, or depression.

These states aren’t chosen consciously. They are protective responses shaped by our past experiences, including trauma. In therapy, we work to help you recognize these patterns and gently guide your nervous system back toward safety and connection.

How Polyvagal Theory Supports Trauma Healing

Trauma, especially when it’s relational or chronic, can leave the nervous system in a constant state of hypervigilance, freeze or collapse. Many people who come to trauma therapy in Hamilton, Burlington, or online report feeling “stuck,” disconnected, anxious, or overwhelmed by their emotions.

Polyvagal-informed therapy helps you:

• Understand your body's survival responses without judgment

• Learn how your nervous system adapted to cope with painful experiences

• Build new pathways to safety, regulation and connection

Our trauma therapists use this lens to track what’s happening in your body moment by moment, not just what you’re thinking or saying. This is especially helpful if you have tried traditional talk therapy before and felt like it wasn’t quite enough. Trauma often lives in the body, and Polyvagal work helps us reach those deeper layers.

Polyvagal Theory and Relationship Therapy

Polyvagal Theory isn’t just for individual trauma work, it’s deeply relevant in couples therapy too. When we’re triggered in relationships, our nervous system often reacts before our logical brain can catch up. You might notice that in a moment of stress, you shut down, lash out, or feel suddenly distant. These aren’t character flaws, they are nervous system responses.

In relationship therapy, we help both partners understand their own and each other’s survival states. This shared language can reduce blame and build compassion. By learning how to recognize when you're in fight, flight, freeze, or safe and social mode you can begin to repair communication breakdowns, strengthen your connection and co-create safety.

This is especially important for couples navigating trauma histories, emotional disconnection or sexual intimacy issues. That’s why Polyvagal-informed therapy also complements sex therapy, helping individuals and couples feel safer in their bodies and more able to experience closeness and pleasure.

Supporting Men Through a Polyvagal Lens

Men often come to therapy carrying a deep internalized pressure to “hold it all together.” Whether it’s childhood trauma, relationship strain, anxiety, or depression the body often bears the burden long before the words can catch up. In men’s therapy and men’s counselling, we use Polyvagal Theory to make sense of the freeze, numbness, irritation, or shutdown that so many men experience, but rarely talk about.

Polyvagal work helps remove shame and shift the focus to what your body has been doing to protect you. This approach is especially useful for men who find it difficult to verbalize emotions or who feel out of touch with their bodies. Our trauma therapists help men gradually build awareness, develop self-regulation tools and move toward more connected, meaningful relationships.

Online and In-Person Support

Whether you're looking for trauma therapy online, trauma therapy in Hamilton or Burlington, or you’re ready to explore relationship therapy or sex therapy our team at Making Space Psychotherapy is trained in trauma-informed, body-based approaches that include Polyvagal Theory.

We work with people who have experienced:

• Childhood emotional neglect or abuse

• Relationship trauma, betrayal, or infidelity

• Panic, anxiety, or chronic depression

• Sexual harm, numbness, or dissociation

• Stress and disconnection in intimate relationships

Our goal is to help you feel safer in your body, more in control of your reactions, and better equipped to connect with yourself and others.

Begin Your Polyvagal-Informed Therapy Journey

Healing isn’t about forcing yourself to “get over it.” It’s about listening to what your nervous system is telling you and learning to respond with compassion and care instead of criticism. With the help of a trauma therapist you can begin to make sense of the anxiety, depression, or relational patterns that don’t seem to budge, and to start to feel more present, empowered and connected.

If you are ready to explore Polyvagal-informed trauma therapy, relationship therapy, or women's or men’s therapy in Hamilton, Burlington, or online, we’re here to support you.

Let’s help your nervous system feel safe again -- so you can move toward the life and relationships you want.